One of the things I’ve never been good at is asking for help. It’s always been awkward as I’m sure it is for all people who’ve ever been in the situation of having to ask to get your needs met. While I’ve always tried my best to accommodate others and thought nothing of it, it never occurred to me exactly how emotionally important accessibility can be.
With the loss of my hearing I’ve suddenly found myself in an oft inaccessible world full of extremely hearing-centric activities requiring specific preparation. The shocker to me was realizing that these aren’t new activities, they’re things I have always done. Now however they require a whole new skill set.
Identifying my needs, and clearly stating them.
Something as simple as going to a movie, (which was previously as simple as reserving a ticket) now requires calling ahead to the theater letting them know a deaf guy is coming and ensuring a closed caption machine is available for the showing I want. Even this is not so simple as using a telephone means asking my lovely partner for help or, if I’m really feeling stubborn, connecting my phone to my audio rig, setting the modulator app up and then making the damn phone call. Other activities require even more planning and attention as groups or busy events are impossible to lip read and that means the dreaded email to the organizers requesting and interpreter, ensuring I absolutely can make the event as hiring terps is not cheap for organizers and trying to find others who would like to go as requesting a $50 per hour service for only one person seems slightly ridiculous.
The first time I had to ask for help to be able to get through my daily life felt terribly awkward. I felt ashamed of my limitations, as if needing help make me weaker in some way. To tell the truth I still do feel like that in certain situations. But I am learning that to not ask is the worse of the two choices.
I’m also learning that, when you ask for help, amazing things happen
In the past months I have been privileged enough to attend a number of events I thought I wouldn’t get to attend because of my hearing loss. However, thanks to the help of friends in the deaf/Deaf/HoH community, the untiring advocacy of my wonderful partner, my own kind of bravery in learning to request the services I need, and the amazing event organizers in the city of Vancouver I’ve not been left behind.
I know there is a core group that will tell you I shouldn’t need to ask for access, that no one should ever have to ask, and I think they’re right in a way. But I understand that, at least for now, this is how its done and so I’ll go on learning how to do this hard thing, in hopes that in the future, someone else won’t have to.
The Celebration Of Silence 